Throw him to the floor Centurion!

Comedy Gold

At first, I thought a new Monty Python series is coming. Next, I’m curious to know if Arnold Rimmer is back for another round of Red Dwarf. The absence of a forehead H suggests not. Then, it dawned on me — this is the head of the British Army. And his performance is comedy gold.

The voice, the stance and awful faux studio-setting created an online stir. General Sir Mark Carleton-Smith’s strange presentation took loads of flak. In a three-minute piece, he affirmed that a stiff upper-class type still leads the British Army. The abiding image is a man straight out of 1930s central casting: one lisping old Etonian please, heavy on the hip stance.

Carleton-Smith’s condescending tone didn't play well with the proletariat, who make up the bulk of his thinning army. Unfortunately, it’s probable the poor man has no inkling he’s doing immense damage. ‘The Life of Brian’ clip comes to mind. John Cleese’s Centurion failing to stop Biggus Dickus addressing the mob is the template.

The Real Thing

By all accounts, Carleton-Smith is an accomplished soldier. He went through SAS selection — no slouch then — and served with distinction.

That alone marks him as a tough guy. Unfortunately, the qualities that allow him to excel in one role may not be applicable in another.

The only explanation I can think of is he received poor advice. In the modern era, he needs to recognise that his approach was always likely to attract scorn. Plus, virtue-signalling by men from a privileged background never works well. 

But, let’s get some perspective here. Carleton-Smith sought to address recent incidents that attracted media attention. Yet, by conflating these, he’s failed to comprehend the broader consequences. An alleged incident involving sexual abuse is under investigation.

​Such conduct, if proven, should result in criminal charges and severe punishment. Nobody condones this behaviour.

​Unfortunately, Carleton-Smith fuses that incident with the much less serious matter of soldiers firing at a picture of Jeremy Corbyn. That's a mistake.

Terrorist Supporter Upset

That video emerged last week to spark a furore as the loony left linked it with the assassination of Joe Cox, the Labour MP. This stance says more about their opportunism than the actions of the soldiers. Also, it’s worth remembering that Corbyn is outspoken in his support of terrorists who took the life of parachute regiment members. 

I doubt Corbyn and his cohort would be running to the media if these lads were blown sky-high by a roadside bomb. He's more likely to have the bombers round for tea in his allotment shed. 
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Recruitment Falters

Another aspect that arises from these events is its impact on recruitment. The soft cuddly recruitment campaigns of 2107/2018, saw successful applications for the Army collapse. Forty-seven per cent of applicants drop out. Building on that failure came the 2019 snowflake campaign, a costly exercise in political correctness gone crazy.

As a result, the British Army is now 5,600 short of regular soldiers. Carleton-Smith’s woeful outburst is unlikely to help attract people. Who will join an organisation that throws its people under the bus of political expediency?   

One of the most gratuitous responses came from professional soy-boy and drama queen, Owen Jones. He played his expected hand, affirming a status as the lefts man-child commentator. I don't recall young Owen getting upset when posters appeared vilifying Theresa May. Amazing how selective these people can be.

To be honest, soldiers are not angels nor should they be. We ask them to face extraordinary dangers to protect our freedoms. Many pay the ultimate price.

​The business of fighting wars is messy.  Young people thrust into that disorientating world experience pressures most could never shoulder. If they let off steam with inappropriate humour, then who are we to pass comment. It’s sure that the likes of Corbyn and Owen Jones are not fit to judge these men.

When the beast is at the door, I want the 3rd Battalion The Parachute Regiment guarding that door. I don't want some politically-correct softy. Nonetheless, one aspect of this episode that concerns me is the poor grouping on the target. I’d expect better from such elite soldiers.