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  • Walter's Blog.
  • Home
  • Introduction
  • About Walter
    • 1980 Joining Up - Grafton Street >
      • Arrival and First Impressions
      • First Week
      • Training
      • Passing Out
    • Yaumati Cowboy >
      • Getting on the Streets
      • Tempo of the City
      • Jumpers, pill poppers and the indoor BBQ
      • Into a Minefield.
    • Why Tango in Paris, when you can Foxtrot in Kowloon? >
      • Baptism By Fire
      • Kai Tak with Mrs Thatcher.
      • Home; The Boy Returns
  • 1984 - 1986
    • PTU Instructor & Getting Hitched
    • Having a go: SDU
    • Starting a Chernobyl family
    • EOD - Don't touch anything
    • Semen Stains and the rules
  • 1987 to 1992 - Should I Stay or Go?
    • Blue Lights, Sirens & Grenades
    • Drugs, Broken Kids & A Plane Crash
    • 600 Happy Meals Please!
    • Hong Kong's Best Insurance
    • Riding the Iron Horse
  • Crime in Hong Kong
    • Falling Crime Rates - Why?
    • Triads
  • History of Hong Kong Policing
    • History 1841 to 1941
    • History 1945 to 1967
    • Anatomy of the 50 cent Riot - 1966
    • The Fall of a Commissioner.
    • History 1967 to 1980
    • Three Wise Men from the West
    • The Blue Berets.
    • The African Korps and other tribes.
    • Getting About - Transport.
    • A Pub in every station
    • Bullshit Bingo & Meetings
    • Godber - The one who nearly got away.
    • Uncle Ho
  • Top 20 Films
    • 2001 - A Space Odyssey.
    • The Godfather.
    • Blade Runner
    • Kes
    • Star Wars
    • Aliens
    • Ferris Bueller's Day Off
    • The Life of Brian
    • Dr Strangelove.
    • Infernal Affairs
    • Bridge on the River Kwai.
    • This Is Spinal Tap.
    • Chung King Express
    • An Officer and a Gentleman
    • PTU
    • Contact
    • Saving Private Ryan
    • Family Guy Star Wars
    • Zulu
    • Hard Day's Night
  • The Long Read
    • How The Walls Come Down
    • War in Ukraine - the narrative and other stuff.
    • The Hidden Leader
    • The Big Game
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Walter's Blog

"But how can you live and have no story to tell?" Fyodor Dostoevsky
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Reflections on recent events, plus the occasional fact free rant unfiltered by rational argument. 

"If you want to read a blog to get a sense of what is going on in Hong Kong these days or a blog that would tell you wh at life was like living in colonial Hong Kong, this blog, WALTER'S BLOG, fits the bill."  Hong Kong Blog Review

28/12/2017 0 Comments

Mein Gott!! Uproar at Buckingham Palace!

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Picture"Hello Auntie, How's your German?"
Uproar at Buckingham Palace! HRH Colonel John Flogg-Bottom Smyth apologised for attending the Christmas Royal lunch in his Panzer Mark IV - ‘Old Bertha’. ‘Flogg-my-bottom’, as he is known in Royal circles and to the boys of Harrow’s fifth-form, issued the following statement,

“Mein Gott, had I known that Angela Meerkat was present I’d have left ‘Bertha’ at home. I apologise.”

The Internet was quick to point out it was inappropriate and insensitive for ‘Bertha’ to be out in cold weather, given that precarious state of the tank designed in 1939. 

Colonel Flogg-Bottom is no stranger to controversy. In 2010, while leading his regiment, he accidentally invaded Poland. “Poor map reading, old boy” was the explanation as he marched his men through Warsaw. 

The Colonel has a clouded history. He is believed to be the product of a liaison between Prince Phillip and Countess Von Trapp of Austria. At Eaton, Flogg-Bottom earned a reputation for helping the poor by allowing them to polish his shoes. Meanwhile, he employed two street urchins to carry his umbrella while out for a run. However, he once beat a boy to death for being ‘middle-class’.  Charges were dropped against Colonel Flogg-Bottom because he went to college with the Director of Public Prosecutions. 

Sir Roger Fitzpatrick, the Queen’s spokesman, and Meghan Markle are unavailable for comment.

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    Walter De Havilland was one of the last of the colonial coppers. He served 35 years in the Royal Hong Kong Police and Hong Kong Police Force. He's long retired. 

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