Bring on the Clowns

"Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg!"

Welcome, then, to a world in which celebrities feel it's fine to spread batshit crazy ideas without bothering to consider the facts.

Ricky Gervais, the anti-celebrity celeb, summed up the luvvies at the 2020 Golden Globes. 

"So if you do win an award tonight, don't use it as a platform to make a political speech. You're in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg."

That hasn't stopped the uneducated and unqualified celebrities from spreading Covid-19 conspiracies. Bored in their mansions, and pining for attention, a number have jumped on the 'it's 5G that did it' bandwagon.

First up is Amanda Holden, an English media personality of undetermined ability. Amanda built a career from looking pretty, while her education consists of attending a drama school in Peckham.

Does that qualify her to comment on radiation, the science of epidemiology and health outcomes from viruses? She thinks it does. At least, following widespread scorn, she had the good grace to remove her tweets linking the Covid-19 to 5G.

Woody Harrelson hasn't yet seen the light. Does his judgment come clouded by the vast amounts of cannabis he consumes or is he is channelling his most famous role — the dumb barmen in Cheers? Hard to say.

Either way, Woody that video you posted of Chinese people pulling down a 5G transmitter was a surveillance camera in Hong Kong. The incident took place in Kowloon Bay in 2019, well before the Covid-19 emerged. 

Not deterred, Woody opined "5G radiation is exacerbating the contagion spread and making it more lethal." Really? Exactly how is that mechanism working Woody? I'd like to hear the science that supports these assertions you shared with two million Instagram followers.

Perhaps Woody should lay off the 'product' to clear his head. 

Boxer Amir Khan, we can let off the hook. After all, the poor chap has taken many blows to the head, plus he's an ardent follower of the clown-prince of conspiracies, David Icke. Khan reposted claims from Icke that the virus is there to test 5G's impact.

Meanwhile, Dancing On Ice judge Jason Gardiner posted several tweets last week that encouraged followers to sign a petition halting the roll-out of 5G. Joining in are several rappers — not usually on my radar — with a chap called Wiz Khalifa with over 36 million followers. 

A lady rapper called M.I.A. claims the coronavirus is a ploy to mass-vaccinate the world's population and implant us with a tracking chip linked to 5G. M.I.A tweeted she chooses death over the chip. Well, that's clear then.

John Cusack, another Hollywood celeb, tweeted to his 1.6 million followers. "5 — G wil [sic] be proven to be very very bad for people's health."

He later deleted the tweet, but not before calling those who disagreed with him "just DUMB and fucking sheep". Nice. John is no stranger to the dangers of tweeting. 

In 2019, he tweeted anti-semitic images. When challenged he first claimed a bot created the message, then defended it, then apologised and finally removed it. John is a class act. 

These conspiracy theories are typically the output of a marginalised few on Reddit and 4chan forums. Yet crazy ideas gain traction with a broader audience when celebs peddle this nonsense. 

Willfully spreading dangerous myths that are untrue to gullible followers is a recipe for mayhem. Moreover, it legitimises attack on infrastructure and other criminal acts. 

We know that celebrities thrive on attention. And in these difficult times, alone in their mansions, they feel sad. But for now, do us all a favour — sit down and drink a large cup of 'shut the fuck up'. 

​Lastly, I'd rather put my trust in the prognostications of the scientists than in some confused luvvie.