Ten Great Movies for Quarantine

"Checkmate, always checkmate!"

Locked down in quarantine, bored and looking for some entertainment. Here are 10 movies you must watch:-

• The Seventh Seal: a cheerful tale of plague in medieval Sweden, with the absence of God as folk die in agony. Death is inevitable, even if you're proficient at chess. A laugh a minute. Tagline: Checkmate, always checkmate.
  
  
• 2001 A Space Odyssey: what happens when you leave the computer in charge of the power supply and other systems, plus the importance of giving clear instructions. And don't play the machine at chess. Tagline: Cover your mouth when talking.
  
  
• Apocalypse Now: a road trip movie - except on a boat - as a group of friends looking for a long-lost potty uncle through the jungles of Vietnam and Cambodia (that's classified). Along the way, they get to see the locals bombed into civilisation. Tagline: Don't get off the boat!
  
  
• Fight Club: Going crazy while on lock-down? Can't get to the gym? Feeling aggressive and unfulfilled, Well, punch yourself in the face. Tagline: The first rule of Fight Club is…
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• Titanic: a poor working-class lad gets to shag a fat posh-girl on a big boat. Spoiler alert: the boat sinks. Tagline: Any ice with that?

• The Shining: never take the wife and kids for a lock-down, especially if it's longer than a month. Don't bring the twins. Tagline: Here's Johnny!
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• Alien: the tale of a misunderstood lifeform and its struggle to survive against a feminist nut-job with a flamethrower and a passion for air-conditioning ducts. This story of misandry is only saved by some great hardwire. Spoiler alert; unfortunately, our hero dies at the end. Tagline: What a bitch!
  
  
• Das Boat: a charming rom-com set in a metal tube full of seaman under the Atlantic Ocean during World War II. Our merry band of brothers deal with the mundane tasks of sinking ships as their relationships blossom. Tagline: Torpedoes away! 
  
  
• Home Alone: No one can condone child abuse, but this little bar-steward deserved to be alone. That will teach him to cooperate in future. Tagline: Is Micheal Jackson dropping in?
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• Ip Man: very disappointing movie. Nothing to do with computers or networking, just some Chinese bloke going around kicking the shit out of people. Tagline: Chin him!

More suggestions are welcome, leave your choices in the comments section below.